


The Way Home

by Cherry (crazylove)



Series: So Long [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: #JohnJaeWeek2021, #JohnJaeWeek2021 Day 5, Alternate Universe - College/University, Family, Homophobia, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Mile High Club, Sightseeing, couples trip, korea - Freeform, mentioned parental death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: Jaehyun brings Johnny home to Korea.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Jungwoo/Mark Lee (NCT), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: So Long [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156499
Comments: 16
Kudos: 72
Collections: JohnJae Fan Week 2021





	The Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> TW:  
> \- mentioned parental death  
> \- mentioned death by suicide  
> \- homophobic family  
> \- brief vomiting scene

Jaehyun held his passport out in the circle with the others. Two were green, two were dark blue. Two bore the seal for the Republic of Korea on the front, one bore the seal for the United States of America and one bore the seal for Canada. They placed their thumbs on top. Johnny made sure the lighting was right, streaming in from one of the large airport windows.

“Perfect.” Johnny said, after he took the picture. “I’m sending it to you. Let’s post it.”

“First couples’ overseas trip!” Jungwoo exclaimed. He grabbed Mark and lifted him off the ground in a squeeze while Mark groaned.

“Try not to kill him before we get there, Jungwoo,” Johnny said, chuckling.

Jaehyun smiled and took Johnny’s arm. He didn’t exactly want Johnny picking him up in the middle of an airport, but he felt the same amount of excitement that Jungwoo did.

After a year, they were finally going back to Korea.

“I’m really going to miss Americanized Chinese food,” Jungwoo said, as they sat at a table in PF Chang’s at the airport.

“We’re only going to be gone for two weeks,” Jaehyun said. “And you were just complaining about how there’s no good Korean food around here.”

“I know, but I can miss both,” Jungwoo said, with a pout.

Jaehyun looked at Johnny, who was staring at his phone. Jaehyun glanced down and saw it was another lesson on Johnny’s language app. Johnny had been going crazy with the Korean language lessons since he graduated. Jaehyun offered to speak Korean with him when they were together, but they always ended up lapsing into English.

“Hey.” Jaehyun poked Johnny in the arm. “You’ve got your own personal translator.”

Johnny looked up and smiled at him. Johnny’s smile still took Jaehyun’s breath away.

“I know,” Johnny said. “But I want to hold my own with your parents. What if I want to talk to them alone?”

Jaehyun smiled and didn’t say anything. This was the usual tactic he took whenever Johnny mentioned his parents. He hoped Johnny would eventually get the hint. Johnny never did.

“Plus, I don’t want to be annoying and rely on you,” Johnny continued. “I want to go off on my own. I want to do things for you in Korea.”

“You’ll be fine,” Jaehyun said. “You’re conversational.”

“I’m bad,” Mark said. “I’ve accepted it.”

“His Korean is so cute,” Jungwoo said, squeezing his boyfriend’s cheek. Mark winced. “I can barely understand him. I taught him all the dirty phrases at least.”

Mark blushed. Jaehyun traded a look with Johnny and laughed.

“His Korean is as bad as your English was when you got here,” Jaehyun reminded his cousin.

“Now, I’m so good!” Jungwoo said, proudly. “Yesterday, someone asked me if I was from Seattle.”

“What?” Johnny said. They all laughed.

It was true. Jungwoo’s English had improved tremendously, especially since he started dating Mark. Jaehyun was grateful his cousin had found someone who complimented him so well. He’d finally settled down. A little bit. Jungwoo would always be somewhat wild. But for how awkward and quiet Mark could be, he seemed to be able to handle Jaehyun’s crazy cousin. Jaehyun didn’t completely understand it, but he was grateful. Especially since Jungwoo was no longer sleeping with random men every night. Now he spent all his time with Mark, and they were mostly at home, watching movies, listening to music, playing video games, and talking. It seemed like a very sweet relationship. Sometimes, he wondered if Jungwoo had found his other half.

Like Jaehyun had found with Johnny.

He held hands with Johnny under the table. They didn’t always need to speak. All they needed to do was be together. Jaehyun had never been so happy simply being in someone’s presence before.

It was a magical feeling.

Their food came and there was way too much of it. Jaehyun had never been to PF Chang’s before but Mark and Johnny both insisted they get the lettuce wraps and the crispy honey chicken. They also got another couple of entrees and fancy drinks. Jaehyun didn’t find any of the food life-changing, but it was all enjoyable. The best part was the company.

Jaehyun was proud of the way they’d all become their own little family. They’d spent a lot of time together over the past few months either on double dates or just hanging out at Jaehyun and Jungwoo’s place. Johnny treated Mark and Jungwoo like his own little brothers. Jaehyun loved how anyone important to him instantly became important to Johnny. It was like there was no limit to the amount of love that Johnny had to give. Jaehyun admired that about Johnny so much.

Anyone who was loved by Johnny had truly lucked out in life.

But the best part was that Jaehyun he was the person that Johnny loved the most.

Jungwoo cleared his throat at the end of the meal. “Guys, I have something to tell you before we get to Korea. About Jaehyun’s family. He doesn’t talk about it.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he looked over at Jungwoo in surprise. He had no idea what his cousin was going to say.

“Jaehyun’s family—” Jungwoo paused, dramatically. “is rich. Like super rich. Really really rich. They live on a compound. They’re fucking rich. Jaehyun had his own personal nanny until he was 14!”

Jaehyun flinched a little as Johnny and Mark looked at him. “Your family, too, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo shook his head. “My mom was Jaehyun’s mother’s sister. Jaehyun’s money comes from his dad’s side. We’re not rich. We’re not rich at all.”

“I said your family, Jungwoo,” Jaehyun said, patiently.

“Your dad hates me, hyung,” Jungwoo said, sharply, looking Jaehyun in the eyes. Then he turned back to Johnny and Mark. “He thinks I’m weird. Our families don’t talk. I don’t even know why Jaehyun’s dad would pay for me to be here.” Jungwoo shrugged. “I don’t really have a family, anymore, after my mom died. Just Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun didn’t say anything as the information sank in around the table.

“Anyway, be prepared, Johnny…” Jungwoo said. “If you go over there. I don’t think Mark and I will go.”

“Come on, Jungwoo,” Jaehyun said. He jumped a little when Johnny squeezed his hand under the table. He could feel Johnny’s concerned eyes on him. “My mom will want to see you.”

“Maybe we can meet her out, hyung,” Jungwoo said, quietly. “I don’t want to go over there. Especially not with Mark.”

Jaehyun pursed his lips together and nodded. He turned to meet Johnny’s questioning eyes. He knew why Johnny was looking at him like that. They were supposed to share everything with each other, but Jaehyun still had a few things about his family he hadn’t told Johnny about yet. He guessed this trip would force him to change that. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he had invited Johnny along.

“I’ll get this,” Jaehyun said, picking up the check.

🍑

Johnny looked amazed when the flight attendant came over and asked what they’d like to drink as soon as they sat down in their business class seats.

“Uh…” Johnny said. “Where’s the menu?”

“Anything you want, Johnny,” Jaehyun murmured.

“Jack and Coke?” Johnny ventured.

“Of course,” the flight attendant said. “And you, sir?”

“Lemon water, please,” Jaehyun said. He needed to soothe his stomach after eating too much lunch. “Thank you.”

She hurried off. The other flight attendant was walking down the hall, handing out hot towels. Jaehyun took his and rubbed his hands briskly and then patted it over his face.

“Ah!” Johnny exclaimed. “This is hot. What’s this for?”

“Clean your hands,” Jaehyun said. He smiled as Johnny juggled the towel from hand to hand before finally using it correctly.

“Why?”

“Don’t you want your hands to be clean?”

“I’m not fancy enough for this,” Johnny said. They placed the used towels in the basket when the flight attendant came back around. Then Johnny reached for Jaehyun, rubbing his warm hands all over Jaehyun’s face while they both laughed.

“They’re not clean anymore!” Johnny teased, before pulling Jaehyun into a kiss.

The flight attendant came back with their drinks. She handed them a menu then to fill out for their in-flight meals during the flight. They had a snack soon after take-off, dinner 6 hours in and then breakfast about an hour before they landed. There were unlimited snacks anytime. All they had to do was ask or go to the snack bar in the next part of the plane.

There was an actual bar back there, with all types of liquor. Jaehyun mentioned it to Johnny. He watched Johnny craning his head in the aisle, trying to see it.

“What is this, a hotel in the sky?” Johnny asked.

“Yes.” Jaehyun grinned.

He loved impressing Johnny. It took a lot of convincing from Jaehyun before Johnny agreed to let Jaehyun pay for this trip to Korea. It was Jaehyun’s graduation present to Johnny. Jaehyun wanted to be with Johnny when he saw his home country for the first time, and he wanted to make sure Johnny saw it in style. This trip had been a long time coming. It was so important to Jaehyun that Johnny had the best time. He didn’t want to think about what would happen when they came back.

Johnny was moving to Chicago to start his new job. Jaehyun would stay in Michigan to finish his senior year of college.

They were about to be apart for a year. Their last big trip together needed to be perfect.

Which was another reason Jaehyun hadn’t really told Johnny about his parents.

The plane started rolling down the runaway. Johnny tensed up. Jaehyun reached over to take Johnny’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Johnny smiled at him, nervously.

“I don’t know if I can be on a plane for 14 hours,” Johnny murmured.

“Too late now,” Jaehyun said with a smile. He kissed Johnny’s cheek. The seatbelt sign beeped, and the captain came over the intercom to tell them to prepare for take-off.

He wasn’t used to seeing Johnny like this. He looked pale. Jaehyun squeezed Johnny’s hand harder. Johnny sniffed hard and leaned his head back against the seat, closing his eyes.

“Baby…?” Jaehyun asked. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know…” Johnny said. “Suddenly, I’m really nervous.”

Jaehyun could feel that Johnny’s hand was shaking. He held it tightly, trying to keep it still.

The pilot said that they were 4th in line for take-off. The plane was rumbling as it sat idle on the runway.

Jaehyun looked around the their section. Most people had already settled in, either sleeping or reading or watching a movie on their personal TVs. He looked back at Jungwoo and Mark. They were leaning together, sharing headphones and watching a movie on the screen in front of Jungwoo’s seat, sharing a blanket.

That gave Jaehyun an idea.

He let go of Johnny’s hand and pulled out the thick blanket that was stashed under his seat. He took it out of the plastic bag and draped it over both their laps.

“I’m hot, actually,” Johnny said. And yes, he was sweating along his brow. Jaehyun kissed the side of his forehead.

“Shhh…” he said, keeping the blanket there. They were sitting as close as they could with their seatbelts on, the arm rest pulled up between them. Jaehyun looked around one more time. The flight attendants were sitting in their jump seats, talking to each other, not paying attention to anything.

Jaehyun slipped his hand under the blanket.

“Be still, baby,” Jaehyun murmured. He knew Johnny didn’t have any idea what he was doing, even as he rubbed over the crotch of Johnny’s jeans. Johnny’s eyes widened when Jaehyun unbuttoned Johnny’s pants expertly with one hand.

“What are you doing?” Johnny whispered, urgently, his eyes wide.

“Shhh, baby…” Jaehyun said. “I wanna… distract you…”

“Jae—”

“If you’re quiet, it’ll work. They turned the lights out.”

“Oh my God…”

“This okay, baby?”

“Yeah but… it’s like I’m in a movie…”

Jaehyun chuckled, rubbing Johnny over his underwear with his fly gaping open. He heard Johnny’s breath hitch. He felt Johnny swelling under his hand right away. It was good to know that he wasn’t _that_ nervous. Jaehyun continued to stroke Johnny through his underwear as the plane slowly crept down the runway. Then he carefully pushed Johnny’s pants and underwear down just enough to get his hard cock out. Johnny gave a silent gasp.

“Shhhh…” Jaehyun warned. He felt Johnny gripping the arm rest on the aisle tightly.

Jaehyun’s heart was racing as he began to stroke his hand up and down Johnny’s cock under the blanket. He licked the palm of his hand really quick before he went back to stroking Johnny to full hardness. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over the tip of Johnny’s cock and feeling a gush of pre-come. Johnny was way more relaxed right now.

“Does this count as The Mile High Club?” Johnny whispered.

“Oh yeah…” Jaehyun said. “Don’t come until we’re in the air.”

Johnny moaned quietly in the back of his throat.

Jaehyun stroked slowly at first, teasing Johnny. He loved hearing those choked sounds of pleasure as Johnny fought to keep himself under control. His hips were twitching. His breathing was getting faster. Jaehyun kept a neutral expression on his face, even as he was getting harder and harder in his own pants from watching Johnny.

Soon, the plane started rolling faster down the runway. The pilot told them they were about to take-off. Jaehyun started stroking Johnny faster. As the plane reached speed and then blasted off, lifting up into the air, Jaehyun moved his hand even faster. He could feel Johnny’s chest hitching. His cock was twitching and throbbing harder in his hand. Jaehyun grinned and leaned over to kiss the side of Johnny’s mouth. Johnny’s mouth was open in a silent moan, his lips in a perfect little circle.

“Oh… oh…” he gasped out.

Jaehyun grabbed a handful of tissues from their amenities pack, getting ready.

The seatbelt sign wasn’t the only thing that went off at ten thousand feet.

🍑

Jaehyun smiled as Jungwoo ran over to Mark once he finally got out of immigration and gave him a huge hug like he hadn’t see him in a week. It had just been a half hour. The line for Korean citizens was fast but the line for foreigners was moving pretty slow.

“I missed you!” Jungwoo declared, as Jaehyun walked over.

“How…” Mark said, looking around nervously. “How open can we be… here? I haven’t been here since I was a kid. I didn’t have a boyfriend then.”

Jungwoo laughed, aggressively taking Mark’s hand. “We can hold hands!” he insisted. “Guy friends hold hands here. But we can be normal. Korea isn’t as backwards about gay people as everyone thinks, I promise.”

Mark nodded and walked hand-in-hand with Jungwoo over to the baggage claim. Jaehyun mostly agreed with his cousin, but there were still reasons to be careful.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Johnny finally walked through.

“I’m here,” Johnny declared with a smile. “We made it!” He wrapped his arm around Jaehyun’s shoulders and they walked over to baggage claim, where Mark and Jungwoo were pulling off everyone’s bags and putting them on a cart.

“How’s everyone feeling?” Johnny asked, once they got the suitcases situated. Jaehyun pressed the button on his app to call the driver.

“Tired,” Mark said with a yawn.

“Good…” Johnny said. “We survived. I was nervous about that plane ride.” Johnny gave Jaehyun a secret smile that was too dangerous to return in front of Mark and Jungwoo. Luckily, Jaehyun had brought a change of clothes on the plane because he’d definitely come in his pants during their Mile High adventure. His jeans might never be the same.

But it was totally worth it.

“I’m excited, now,” Johnny said, as they all walked to the exit, Jungwoo and Mark pushing the cart. “Seoul, Korea. It’s so cool already. So clean. Look around. Everyone’s Korean! It’s crazy.”

“Johnny, we’re in the airport,” Jungwoo said with a laugh. “It’s not that exciting. I’m ready to see my _eomma_.”

Jaehyun smiled at his cousin, fondly. “Let’s go.”

Their driver was outside, waiting for them. They piled in the car as the driver put their bags in the back. Jaehyun watched Johnny take in the scenery as they drove away from Incheon airport. He seemed fascinated by the fields they passed and then gasped when the skyline of the city came into view. Jaehyun tried to see Korea through Johnny’s eyes. It really was a beautiful place.

He’d missed Seoul a lot.

But he’d been thinking about this on the plane, while Johnny was leaned against him, sleeping. While Michigan and America grew further away in the background.

He wasn’t sure if Korea felt like home anymore.

Jaehyun watched Johnny. He’d pulled out his favorite camera and was taking rapid fire pictures out the window. Then he turned his camera towards them. Mark was asleep in the back. Jungwoo was on his phone. Jaehyun smiled right into Johnny’s camera lens. Johnny always took so many pictures of him.

Jaehyun thought maybe he was home after all.

His home was with Johnny.

They stopped to pick up flowers before they went to the graveyard. Jaehyun kissed his hand and then pressed it against his aunt’s tombstone. He remembered everything about her death as acutely as it felt on the day it happened. It had to be even more vivid for Jungwoo. The worst part was remembering how loudly Jungwoo had been wailing. He hadn’t talked to Johnny much about his aunt’s death. It was too painful to talk about. He didn’t really talk to Jungwoo about it either.

After a few moments, he stepped back with Johnny, letting Jungwoo have his alone time at his mother’s grave. They watched Jungwoo and Mark kneel in the grass, Jungwoo talking to Mark animatedly as they spread the flowers just right. Jaehyun wondered if Jungwoo had told Mark the details of his mother’s death. He wasn’t sure. Right now, watching the way Jungwoo was smiling and sitting in the grass, no one would be able to tell how terrible that day had been.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and let it out slowly as memories overwhelmed him. He felt Johnny move behind him and then Johnny wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. Johnny kissed the top of his head.

“I couldn’t imagine losing my mom so young,” Johnny whispered. “Even now… I’d be so lost and devastated without her.”

“I know,” Jaehyun whispered back. “Jungwoo was. I was really worried about him. But… I’m so glad he has Mark. He’s so much happier, now.”

“I’m glad, too,” Johnny said. “Those kids are really cute together. But he was happy with you, too. He might not have Mark in a year, but he’ll always have you. You showed him so much kindness and affection. You’re the best cousin and support system. That’s why I love you.” Jaehyun smiled as Johnny tugged him back against his strong chest and kissed the side of his face.

“Thank you, Johnny,” Jaehyun said.

“So, uh…” Johnny said. “We never really talked about what Jungwoo said… at the airport.”

Jaehyun’s stomach clenched for a moment. He nodded.

“Why did he say he doesn’t want to take Mark to your house?”

Jaehyun took a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly.

“My dad…” Jaehyun said, slowly. He didn’t know how to say this. “When Jungwoo was growing up… my dad would say… he would call Jungwoo…” Jaehyun swallowed hard. His heart was racing. But he knew that he owed Johnny the truth. “He would call Jungwoo… like bad names. Words I don’t want to repeat. Homophobic slurs. He openly criticized my aunt and uncle about how they were raising him. Which is why our families didn’t get along. One of the reasons.”

“Whoa!” Johnny said, his body jerking behind Jaehyun. “Jae, you never told me that. That’s _serious_. Poor Jungwoo. That’s scary…”

Jaehyun nodded a little and kept his face carefully blank. “Yeah.”

“Jaehyun, you said your parents know.”

Jaehyun nodded again, slowly. “Yes… I told my parents a couple of years ago.”

“Okay.” Johnny still looked confused. “And they know about us…” Johnny trailed off as Jaehyun nodded. They had discussed this before but Jaehyun understood why Johnny wasn’t quite what to believe anymore.

“Yes,” Jaehyun confirmed. “I wouldn’t bring you here if they didn’t know.”

“I don’t understand,” Johnny said. “You said you came out and nothing happened. Now you’re telling me that your dad bullied Jungwoo when he was a _child_ because he thought… he acted gay? I don’t—what’s the deal, Jaehyun? How can this happen? Has your dad changed? I don’t understand.”

Jaehyun took a deep breath. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t understand either.

“Your dad never said anything like that to you?” Johnny asked in a low voice.

Jaehyun shook his head, slowly. “He never called me anything like that, just Jungwoo. Like I told you, we don’t talk about it. After I told them, they both said okay. That was it.”

“I’m okay, now,” Jungwoo said, appearing suddenly with Mark. It was obvious that he had just heard what they were talking about. “I don’t care. I’m fine. Like I said, Jaehyun’s dad hates me.”

Jaehyun’s heart dropped to his stomach when he heard Jungwoo beside him. Jungwoo’s words were all bravado but he could hear the hurt plainly in his voice.

“Oh Jungwoo…” Johnny turned to Jungwoo and pulled him into a tight hug. He kissed the top of Jungwoo’s hair and held him tightly. Jungwoo and Jaehyun used to cuddle all the time but Jaehyun didn’t think he’d ever held Jungwoo like that.

Like an apology.

Jaehyun realized that no one had ever apologized to Jungwoo. Jaehyun had barely acknowledged what happened when they were kids.

Jaehyun didn’t know how.

When Jungwoo finally pulled away, there were tears on his face. He wiped his eyes and Mark took his hand.

“I’m okay,” Jungwoo told everyone again. The sun beat down on top of them. Jaehyun felt a drop of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He wiped it away like a tear.

“Hyung isn’t like his dad,” Jungwoo said, looking at Johnny. “Except that he doesn’t come from a talking family. That’s why Jaehyun doesn’t talk much about anything unless you get to know him.”

“These are hard things to talk about,” Johnny said, wrapping his arm around Jungwoo’s shoulder as he looked at Jaehyun. There was that look of deep caring in Johnny’s eyes. Jaehyun melted every time Johnny looked at him like that. It wasn’t just the heat.

“Don’t be mad at him if he hasn’t told you everything,” Jungwoo said. “It’s hard for him.”

“I’m not mad,” Johnny said. “I just want to understand.”

“Understand that hyung loves you!” Jungwoo said, smiling through his tears. “He’ll do anything for you. Even though he’s under a lot of pressure. I didn’t want to come back here but hyung told me that it would be good. And I’m glad I did. Because… I got to see my mom with Mark and you’ll get to know hyung better.”

“Thank you, Jungwoo,” Johnny said, softly. Jaehyun took Johnny’s hand when Johnny reached for him. Then he pulled Mark in. He wrapped them all in a four way hug. It felt good, even though it was so hot, Jaehyun was beginning to feel dizzy.

“Let’s always support each other,” Johnny whispered to them. “Okay?”

They held onto each other for a long time. When they pulled away, Johnny pushed Jaehyun’s hair back from his forehead and kissed him.

“I love you,” Johnny whispered. Jaehyun smiled, looking into Johnny’s golden-brown eyes that had captivated him from the start.

“I love you, too,” Jaehyun said.

But sometimes those words just weren’t enough.

🍑

Jaehyun chose an upscale hotel in Gangnam so they would be in the heart of the city. It reminded him of when he was going to university in Seoul, running around with all his old friends. Back then, he had an apartment in Gangnam. Now his parents were renting it out. Jaehyun planned to walk past and point out the building to Johnny. He had a lot to show him.

But it had been a long travel day, so they decided to turn in for the night and get together in the morning. Mark and Jungwoo waved goodbye before they headed for their suite.

Johnny opened their suite door and Jaehyun walked inside, looking around. There was a very impressive view of the city. Jaehyun stood in front of the window, taking it all in. It felt like he’d never seen it before.

Like he didn’t belong.

“How does it feel to be back?” Johnny said from behind him.

“It feels strange,” Jaehyun said, slowly. He walked over to the huge king bed and flopped down on it, sitting up against the many pillows along the headboard.

“Okay.” Johnny joined him on the bed, laying down with his head in Jaehyun’s lap and looking up at him. “I need to stop hearing the Jung family intel from Jungwoo and hear it directly from you. Go.”

Jaehyun chuckled a little, pushing Johnny’s hair away from his face. Johnny was so beautiful.

“Can I order wine first?” he asked, half-teasing but mostly serious.

“Order whatever you need,” Johnny said. “But we need to talk. I need to be more prepared.” Johnny paused for a moment. “I am hungry, though.”

They ended up lounging on the bed after they ordered room services, eating food and drinking their wine from plastic cups meant from water. That was one of the best things about Johnny. Jaehyun never had to put on a show for him. He never had to be anything more than who he was. He was always more than enough for Johnny.

Jaehyun would never be enough for his father.

“I know you don’t like talking about your family,” Johnny said, his mouth half full. “So, I didn’t push you. There’s so much to talk about with Jungwoo alone.” He chuckled a little. Then he placed his free hand on Jaehyun’s thigh. Jaehyun smiled at him. “That’s why I was so happy you invited me to come with you. I want to know where you come from. I think it’s time, baby. I think it’s why you brought me here.”

Jaehyun nodded. Johnny was right and being perfectly reasonable about everything. Like always.

“You promise your dad never called you anything… like with Jungwoo?” Johnny shook his head, letting out a frustrated noise. “I can’t get that out of my head! It’s so wrong. How could he do that? I’m so mad about it. I don’t know how you can look at Jungwoo and not want to protect him.”

Jaehyun smiled as his heart clenched, painfully. He was so full of love for Johnny but he hated his father at the same time. Johnny was right? How could his dad do that? Thinking about it made Jaehyun feel sick and guilty. It felt like he had a part in it.

“It was _not_ your fault,” Johnny said, suddenly, like he could read Jaehyun’s mind. “You were just a kid, too, Jaehyun. You don’t control your father. It just makes me sad. It affected you, too. It couldn’t be easy for you to witness that. To know that you dad could be like that.”

Jaehyun nodded and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “It’s awful…” he said, slowly.

“What exactly did he say when you came out?”

Jaehyun took another bite of the kimchi fried rice and chewed thoughtfully. “Literally nothing, Johnny. He walked out of the room and we haven’t talked about it since.”

“Do you think he heard you?”

Jaehyun laughed, but with no humor. “He heard.”

“Jungwoo said that your dad hates him. He said that he doesn’t know why he’s paying for him to be in America.” Johnny looked at Jaehyun so hopefully that Jaehyun’s heart hurt. “Maybe… do you think he changed? After you came out… maybe he saw things differently.”

Jaehyun wished he could bottle the way that Johnny could always see the good in the world and keep it for himself forever so that he might have that ability one day. He wanted to see life through Johnny’s eyes. Sometimes he didn’t talk just so Johnny would keep talking and tell Jaehyun everything that was on his mind. That was the closest he got to being inside Johnny’s head. He loved it there.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“He hadn’t changed,” Jaehyun said. He paused a moment before he continued. “Before I left for the states, he was setting me up on a lot of blind dates with suitable candidates for marriage. I mean, women. This was after I told him I was gay, John.” Jaehyun sighed a little.

“The blind date thing is pretty common here. I felt like I didn’t have a choice, so I went but I didn’t take it seriously. He started getting fed up with me. So he decided that I should go to America. He told me to ‘sow my wild oats’—” Jaehyun brought his hands up and made finger quotes. “--and when I came back after my education, I should be ready to settle down.”

“Oh,” Johnny said. He looked away. For once, Jaehyun couldn’t read his expression or tone of voice.

“It’s all about appearances with us,” Jaehyun said. “It’s nothing real. Even the business… it’s about buying dying companies, firing everybody and selling them for a profit. I don’t know. It’s soulless. That describes… that describes the Jungs.” Jaehyun let out a breath in a deep sigh. Johnny turned to him again.

“Jaehyun, you’re not soulless,” Johnny said.

Jaehyun finished the rest of his wine and poured himself a refill.

“I love my mom,” Jaehyun said, quietly. “We get along well. But when we’re with my father, she never says anything. Like the business, my father is more concerned with the bottom line rather than anything that has to do with people.” Jaehyun took a breath, staring at the bed.

“Jungwoo’s family… was in really big financial trouble. His mom—I don’t know— what the exact problem was. A shopping addiction? But I think it was something even deeper. There was… something wrong, something she couldn’t control. You would never know. She was like Jungwoo. She was very friendly and funny and bright. But she got their family into a ton of debt. All the kind of debt you can’t imagine, Johnny. Debt here doesn’t go away. It swallows you. She took out this huge life insurance policy on herself and then… a few months after that, she died.” Jaehyun closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that sharp pain that he’d felt when he first heard the news.

“She killed herself,” he said, quietly. “And the insurance policy didn’t pay out… because it was a suicide.”

“Oh my God, Jaehyun…” Johnny said. He slid in closer and wrapped his arms around Jaehyun, holding him tightly.

“The debt got even worse. My uncle barely had money to cover the funeral. Jungwoo dropped out of school. My dad--even when Jungwoo’s dad came to him, begging him for help--you know what he said?” Jaehyun’s eyes were still closed. He couldn’t bear to look at Johnny right now.

“What’s that?” Johnny asked, softly.

“He said… they got themselves into this mess, they can get out of it.” Jaehyun squeezed his eyes shut together, but a tear slipped down his cheek anyway. It burned. “It didn’t matter that Jungwoo’s mom, my aunt, my mom’s sister, was dead.”

“I’m so sorry…” Johnny murmured, pressing his face against Jaehyun’s hair. Jaehyun took a shuddering breath.

“They lost the house they were living in,” Jaehyun said. “Jungwoo was working but he kept getting fired. His dad was working and drinking a lot. Jungwoo was acting really reckless and crazy. I couldn’t stand that there was nothing I could do…” Jaehyun sniffed again. “My father is so selfish. It would cost him nothing to help. Jungwoo and his dad are _our_ family. But he refused. Then my dad made the arrangements for me to finish university in America and I… I promised that I would get married to someone he chose when I got back… if I got to take Jungwoo with me. And my dad paid for everything.”

Johnny pulled away from Jaehyun slowly. “What…?”

Jaehyun kept his eyes closed so he couldn’t see Johnny’s hurt face.

“I didn’t know I would meet anyone like you,” Jaehyun mumbled.

“J-Jaehyun…” Johnny sputtered out. “ _Seriously_?”

“That’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here with you. I want to tell him the truth. I can’t honor his arrangement. It was wrong in the first place.”

“But… what if he drops you or drops Jungwoo? And Jungwoo can’t stay?” Johnny let Jaehyun go. Jaehyun wrapped his arms around himself.

“I-I don’t know…” Jaehyun admitted.

“You wouldn’t take it back if your dad says he’s going to cut Jungwoo off and then he wouldn’t be able to stay in America,” Johnny said. “I know you, Jaehyun. Jungwoo would lose everything again. You wouldn’t let that happen.”

Jaehyun breathed out heavily through his nose and didn’t say anything.

“Which means you have to marry someone else in a couple of years and then… where will I be, Jaehyun? I… I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I thought we were really serious about each other.”

“We are,” Jaehyun said.

“But then how could you be dating me, knowing how I _feel_ , and have this promise hanging over your head. You didn’t tell me! I didn’t have a choice. And now I’m here, thinking that… I might be able to talk to your parents one-on-one about how serious I am about you and this whole time… you knew I didn’t stand a chance.”

“Johnny, it’s not like that.”

“It’s exactly like that.”

They both fell into silence. Jaehyun’s heart was pounding so hard, it hurt. He pressed his hands over his chest.

“I need… I’m gonna take a walk,” Johnny said, after a few moments. “I’m… yeah… I’ll be back.”

Jaehyun didn’t open his eyes until he heard the door close.

He stared into an empty room.

Johnny was right. Jaehyun wouldn’t let his parents cut Jungwoo off. Not when his cousin was finally happy again.

But choosing Jungwoo over Johnny couldn’t be the only option.

Jaehyun needed them both in his life.

Jaehyun realized that’s why he had come to Korea. That’s why he brought Johnny. He needed to confront his father.

He needed to figure out a way to control his own life. For good.

🍑

Johnny came back from his walk about an hour later. They didn’t talk much that night. They took a sleepy bath together, had sex, and then went to bed early.

Jaehyun had arranged for a private city tour the next day. They met downstairs at the hotel restaurant at eight in the morning. Jaehyun knew why Johnny wasn’t saying much that morning, even as he downed two cups of coffee, but he wasn’t sure why Jungwoo and Mark weren’t their happy, loud selves. He knew yesterday at the grave site had been heavy. Maybe Mark and Jungwoo talked more in their room, just like he and Johnny had. Jaehyun could feel the tension in the air. He also felt the heat. Seoul in July was almost unbearably hot during the day, even in the morning. Jaehyun started sweating as soon as they stepped outside.

Jaehyun had imagined all these happy moments when they went sightseeing, but today was proving him wrong. Their first stop was coffee at the Harry Potter café, but that didn’t seem to help with Johnny’s mood. Jungwoo and Mark were also bickering, with Mark fighting off Jungwoo’s every attempt at PDA or being cute with him. Maybe it was the jet lag. Maybe it was the heat. They all seemed on edge.

They went to Gyeongbokgung Palace, Bukchon Hanok Village and Insadong. By this time, it was the middle of the day and everyone was dragging. It was hard walking around outside. Johnny wasn’t even taking that many pictures. Jungwoo wanted to stop at a _jjukkumi_ place. He said he’d been craving it for months. They sat down at a table together, sweaty and tired. Jaehyun wasn’t even that hungry but he needed to sit. Mark looked especially pale, drinking lots of water after they sat down.

“This is one of my favorite things to eat,” Jungwoo declared. Their food came and they started digging in and making wraps. Johnny chewed one of the baby octopuses.

“This is really spicy,” he said.

“You get used to it,” Jaehyun said. “The bean sprouts help.”

“It’s good, though.” Johnny smiled but not his usual Johnny smile that lit up his whole face. Jaehyun chewed slowly, trying to think of something he could do to save this awkward day.

But Johnny was good at those type of things. Not Jaehyun. He didn’t know what to do.

He blamed himself. He should have told Johnny everything before they got there. He should have protected Jungwoo better.

“Try!” Jungwoo said to Mark, who hadn’t touched the food. He made Mark take a bite of his lettuce wrap and watched Mark chew. Mark patted his face, sweating the whole time. After he swallowed, he started coughing.

“Mark, are you okay?” Johnny asked, pushing over a glass of water.

“It’s so spicy…” Mark said, his eyes watering.

Jungwoo rubbed Mark’s back, smiling proudly. “It’s good right?”

Next thing they knew, Mark threw up all over the table and his lap. Jungwoo gasped loudly. Jaehyun dropped his lettuce wrap back into his plate.

“Okay!” Johnny said, grabbing napkins and pressing them to Mark’s mouth as he was still hunched over beside him. “This day officially sucks. Let’s go back to the hotel.”

Jaehyun sighed, standing up to get the restaurant staff and ask for the check.

🍑

Johnny was still sleeping when Jaehyun got back from checking on Jungwoo and Mark. They’d been back at the hotel for a few hours now. Jaehyun sat on the edge of the bed. The sun had slipped down in the sky, starting the slow process of turning the day into night. Jaehyun stared at the purple twilight in the distance and decided that tomorrow was a do over. He would do better to make sure everyone was having a good time.

He would do better to be completely honest with Johnny.

“Hey…” Johnny surprised Jaehyun by rolling over in bed and yawning, his eyes opening slowly. “How’s Mark?”

“Fine,” Jaehyun said. “I think it was just heat exhaustion and spicy food. He’s better now.”

Johnny sat up, yawning again and pushing his hair out of his face. Jaehyun knew they should talk about the other night, but he didn’t know what to say.

“Hey,” Johnny said, again, giving Jaehyun a mischievous smile. “You wanna go skinny dipping?”

Jaehyun didn’t know how Johnny knew, but one of the hotel’s three outdoor pools was completely empty. They jumped in with their swim trunks on but once they were in the water, they slipped them off. Johnny grabbed them and laid them on the side of the pool.

“Have you ever been skinny dipping before?” Johnny asked.

“No,” Jaehyun said.

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck and then his legs around Johnny’s waist in the deep end of the pool. The area around the pool was completely dead. No one was around. They stayed like that for a few moments, listening for any signs of life. Then they began making out, Johnny bracing himself on a step so their heads were above the water. They rubbed up against each other. Johnny played with Jaehyun’s hole. Jaehyun slipped his hand between them, grabbing at Johnny’s cock. Johnny stuck his fingers in Jaehyun’s mouth and made him suck. It was fun, just making out and humping and playing with each other, taking their time until they both came, turning the crystal blue water around them all filmy and cloudy.

“Whoops…” Johnny said as they swam away to a cleaner part of the pool. Jaehyun giggled.

Jaehyun felt lighter. He floated on his back. Johnny floated beside him.

“You know, you’re not so open with me, sometimes,” Johnny said.

“I know,” Jaehyun said. “I’m sorry, Johnny. I should have told you everything about my parents before we came.”

“I just have to ask you one question,” Johnny said, quietly. “It’s the part that hurt the most.”

“What’s that?” Jaehyun asked, slightly afraid.

“Do you see yourself marrying me?”

Jaehyun rolled over, clumsily falling out of his float. But it was important that he see Johnny’s face. “Yes,” he said, staring into Johnny’s eyes the best he could with the dim lighting. Now it was fully dark out and the pool lights hadn’t quite brightened up enough yet.

“You’re serious?” Johnny asked. “Not just saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear.”

“Yes, Johnny… I’m serious,” Jaehyun said. “I can see myself marrying you. No one else.”

Johnny was silent for a few moments. “So, what are you going to do?” Johnny asked. “Right now, I feel like we’re doomed.”

“We’re not,” Jaehyun said. “We are not, Johnny.”

“You’re smarter than me…” Johnny smiled a little, but painfully. “I trust you. But…I don’t want to hold you back either, Jaehyun. I don’t want to ruin things.”

“You won’t.” Jaehyun grabbed Johnny’s hand, pulling him out of his float so they were both standing on the floor of the pool. “Johnny, you only make my life better. That’s all you do. You cannot make my life worse. I love you more than anything, Johnny. There’s no other option for me… but you. I’ll figure it out.”

He pulled Johnny into a hug. Johnny hugged him back. He could feel Johnny’s heart pounding hard against his chest. Jaehyun’s heart felt the same.

He still didn’t know what he was going to do.

But the only choice was to be with Johnny. That much was clear.

He would figure it out. It was the only thing he could do.

🍑

Jaehyun’s phone buzzed as he settled back in the car. A notification popped up. Johnny had updated his insta story. He smiled when he saw a picture of Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark posing in front of the main entrance to Lotte World. Jaehyun knew Jungwoo had been dying to take them there. It was the perfect day for it. They were going to have a great time.

Jaehyun was glad someone was.

“It’s so good to see you,” Jaehyun’s family driver said from up front as they drove to the house. “Why aren’t you staying at the house?”

“I came here with a few friends,” Jaehyun said. “I thought it would be easier to stay in a hotel, closer to the city.”

“Ah yes,” the driver said. “You will all have a lot of fun. I’m sure your parents are so grateful you made time to see them.”

Jaehyun clenched his jaw. He wasn’t sure if grateful was the right word.

Jaehyun had always been an honorable person. He was always going to do his duty. But this afternoon, he was going to tell his dad he would not honor the promise he made a year ago.

Jaehyun hoped it would work out.

He didn’t have a backup plan.

Now that Jaehyun was going through the front gates, after a year away, he understood why Jungwoo called his family home “a compound.” They lived on the outskirts of Seoul and Jaehyun didn’t know how many acres of land they had, but it was a lot. The house was huge. Jaehyun had his own wing. When he was a kid, sometimes he didn’t see his parents for days, just his nanny. Then he would come to find that his mom was on the other side of the house, doing her own thing.

Jaehyun didn’t miss this place. He knew that as soon as they pulled up to the front doors.

It never felt like much of a home.

He didn’t realize that until he was gone.

Jaehyun had even forgotten the door code. The driver punched it in for him.

“Welcome home. Mr. Jung,” the driver said, giving bow as he let Jaehyun inside. Jaehyun looked around. The front room felt empty and too large and cavernous, like you could get lost in there and no one would ever come looking for you.

He kicked off his shoes and slipped on the slippers for visitors. His house slippers were back in America. At his real home.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as difficult as Jaehyun thought.

He finally found his mom in the dining room. She walked over to him, smiling.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen your face, Jaehyun-ah,” she said, holding his face the best she could and looking him over.

“Hi, Mom,” Jaehyun said, smiling the best he could.

“How are you? Jaehyun, you look skinny. Are you eating enough?”

“I am,” Jaehyun said. He glanced at the table. There were three place settings. “Is Dad coming?”

“Yes, he should be here soon,” Jaehyun’s mom said. “I told him that some things are more important than his meetings.”

Jaehyun smiled a little but it felt more like a grimace. Jaehyun’s dad hadn’t learned that in Jaehyun’s first 21 years in this house. Why would anything be different now?

He was surprised when his father joined them for lunch. They shook hands, formally, like business acquaintances. Sometimes, Jaehyun was sure that’s all he was to his dad. A transaction. In approximately 25 years, he’d appreciate into his full value and his dad would put him to work in the family business. Jaehyun had just accepted that his whole life.

Now Jaehyun realized that he wanted more.

They sat around the table while the staff served them. Seaweed soup was one of his favorites that he missed in America, especially when it was made by their head cook. Jaehyun sipped it delicately, savoring every mouthful.

“How is school?” Jaehyun’s father asked.

“Fine.”

“How are your grades?”

“Fine.”

His dad asked other questions about the weather and the gas prices in America. He asked Jaehyun if the maid service was working out. They had overcharged him one month and he was still mad about it.

As if his dad didn’t have all the money in the world.

Jaehyun felt the tension rising in his shoulders as they got to the second course.

It was always like this with his father.

They never talked about anything real.

His dad didn’t ask about Jungwoo once. He never did.

As usual, Jaehyun’s mom didn’t say anything. It was like she had a mentality that when “men were talking” she had to be completely silent. Jaehyun tried asking her a few questions but she’d just glance to his father, who would then answer. It was so frustrating. Why didn’t Jaehyun realize this before? His family was not normal.

He didn’t know how joyful families could be until he went to Johnny’s house for New Year’s. He remembered how Johnny’s parents really hugged them. Not just Johnny, but Jungwoo and Jaehyun too, even though they were strangers. They all had real conversations. Johnny’s parents cared about what they were really going through. They loved Johnny for who exactly who he was. They didn’t push Johnny to follow their path. They supported him as he figured out his own life.

Jungwoo’s family used to be happy like that, too. Until everything started to go downhill.

And Jaehyun’s family never helped them.

Jaehyun put his chopsticks down about halfway through the main course. He was still hungry but he couldn’t eat anymore. He needed to speak.

“Dad,” he said, looking his father square in the eyes. “Mom.” He glanced over at his mother and then looked at his father again. “I’m doing really well in America. I met someone.”

“Hmmm?” His dad grunted, busy eating his _galbi_.

“I met someone. A relationship.”

“That’s nice, Jaehyun-ah,” his mom said, but she was looking at Jaehyun’s father out of the corner of her eye.

“What are you talking about?” his father said.

“I have a boyfriend,” Jaehyun said. “I’ve mentioned him before. Johnny. He’s here and—”

Jaehyun’s father snorted. Jaehyun stared at him for a moment. His father started to laugh with his mouth half-full. Jaehyun could see the half chewed up beef. Jaehyun felt disgusted.

“Stop,” Jaehyun’s father said, still chortling.

“Why are you laughing?” Jaehyun asked, his voice sharp.

“Because you’re ridiculous,” Jaehyun’s father said, the laughter wrung out of his voice at the drop of a hat. “That’s enough.”

“We’re serious about each other,” Jaehyun said.

“That’s enough!” Jaehyun’s father said louder, smacking his fist on the table. Jaehyun saw his mother flinch.

“That’s enough, Jaehyun-ah,” Jaehyun’s mother murmured.

“No,” Jaehyun said. “I’m not done talking about it.”

“I do _not_ want to hear about this,” Jaehyun’s father said, now in a steely low voice.

“Dad, I told you I’m gay,” Jaehyun said, staring his father in the eyes. His father stared back.

“And I told you,” Jaehyun’s father said, using the same low, scary voice. “When you go to America… you get it out of your system. I don’t want to hear about it. When you come back here, you will be normal. You will be wed. End of story.”

“I am normal!” Jaehyun screamed.

The air in the room seemed to stop.

Jaehyun had never yelled at his dad before.

No one said anything for a long time.

No one even seemed to breathe.

Then Jaehyun’s father sucked in his breath.

“You will not speak to me that way,” he said.

“You won’t tell me what to do,” Jaehyun said. Now he was using his dad’s voice. He knew they sounded just alike. “Not anymore. This isn’t something to get out of my system. This is my life. I love him.”

“I told you I didn’t wanna hear it!” Jaehyun’s father yelled, striking the table again.

“I’m not listening to you!” Jaehyun said.

Jaehyun’s father scoffed and looked at Jaehyun’s mother. “Are you listening to your son?” he asked.

“Jaehyun, please…” Jaehyun’s mom said, softly.

“I’m not marrying anyone I don’t choose,” Jaehyun said. “I take it back, Dad. That’s off the table. I found someone I want to—”

“Fine!” Jaehyun’s father barked. “Then you are not staying in America. I’m pulling your tuition and Jungwoo’s too. This is what you want, Jaehyun? Fine. It’s your choice. And when you come back to Korea—”

“I get it,” Jaehyun said, standing up abruptly. He didn’t want to hear anymore. He didn’t know what else to say. He’d said it all. He’d gotten it all out. He didn’t have anything more to do here.

All he needed to do was figure out what he was going to do next.

“I have a meeting,” Jaehyun’s dad said, loudly, like he was talking to the whole world. Then stood up and stalked out of the room, straight past Jaehyun, without another glance or a word.

Jaehyun knew you didn’t have just one family. Family could also be the people in your life you chose to love.

Even if he lost this one, he would still have a family.

Jaehyun was about to walk out. He could hear his mom behind him, breathing hard but not saying anything. He didn’t want to leave her behind. But he didn’t have a choice.

Jaehyun took a step away from the table.

“Wait,” Jaehyun’s mom said. Jaehyun didn’t turn around.

“I’d like to see you for dinner tonight,” his mom said in a small voice. “I want to see Jungwoo. And… I’d like to meet your boyfriend.”

Jaehyun’s heart lifted. He wasn’t sure what to think.

“Okay,” he said, softly.

“Thank you, Jaehyun,” his mom said. “I love you. You are a very good son.”

Jaehyun bit the inside of his cheek, feeling tears finally starting to well up in his eyes as he headed out.

She had never told him that before.

🍑

“Auntie!” Jungwoo cried as soon as he saw Jaehyun’s mom outside of the restaurant. He ran over and gave her a hug. “Auntie! Hi! It’s been forever! This is my boyfriend, Mark. Isn’t he cute, Auntie? Look at him! He’s from Canada. He’s so cute.” Jaehyun laughed as Jungwoo shoved Mark forward. Poor Mark’s face was so red as he greeted Jaehyun’s mom with an awkward hug.

“You look like her,” Johnny said, standing beside Jaehyun. “She’s very pretty. So are you.”

Jaehyun smiled to himself. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hadn’t told Johnny about his conversation with his father yet. He’d just collected them from Lotte World and come straight to the restaurant to meet his mom.

“Hi, Mom,” Jaehyun said, hugging his mom after she was finished greeting Jungwoo and Mark. They weren’t usually huggers but even Mark had hugged her. Jaehyun had to hug his own mom. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Johnny. He’s the one I told you about.”

Johnny bowed deeply. “Hello, Mrs. Jung. I am so pleased to meet you. This is an honor,” Johnny said in the most formal, stiff Korean. It sounded like he was reading a textbook. Jaehyun had to stifle a laugh.

“Thank you, Johnny.” Jaehyun’s mom said with a smile. Johnny took Jaehyun’s mother’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Thank you for raising Jaehyun,” Johnny said. “He’s really an incredible man. I care for him so much. Thank you for giving him the opportunity to go to America so I could meet him.”

Jaehyun was blushing but his head was racing in a good way. He didn’t realize Johnny was going to say all of that. But at the same time, that was Johnny. He wore his heart on his sleeve. He said exactly how he felt. Jaehyun wanted to be more like him. He was working on it.

“I practiced saying that,” Johnny admitted, with a little laugh. Jaehyun’s mom smiled at Johnny warmly.

“Your Korean is perfect,” she said.

Jaehyun took Johnny’s arm as they all walked inside, Jungwoo chattering happily with Jaehyun’s mom just ahead.

“I’m so glad I get to meet your mom,” Johnny said, glancing down at Jaehyun.

“Me too,” Jaehyun said. He smiled up at Johnny. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world, did you know that?”

Johnny chuckled a little. “That’s what I want to be to you,” Johnny murmured, meeting Jaehyun’s eyes.

“So, do I,” Jaehyun said.

“You’re the best boyfriend just by breathing,” Johnny said, giving Jaehyun’s hand a squeeze.

It was fun to watch Jungwoo talking animatedly at the table as they enjoyed their food. Jungwoo was doing rapid fire translating for Mark, who was mostly lost with their Korean conversation. They talked about life at their university. They talked about their relationships, like how they’d met and how long they’d been together. They talked about what they’d been doing in Korea. They talked about their trip to the music festival in Ohio. They talked about Johnny’s new job in Chicago. Jaehyun’s mother told stories about Jaehyun and Jungwoo when they were kids that Jaehyun didn’t even remember. They talked about everything. Jaehyun had never had a conversation with his mom like this. Never in his life.

It was like they were getting to know each other for the first time.

“Do you miss my mom, Auntie?” Jungwoo asked towards the end of the meal.

Jaehyun’s mom nodded. “Of course, Jungwoo-ah,” she said. “Every day.”

Jungwoo nodded, soberly. “Me too. Do you think she would like Mark?”

“She would love him. She’d love anyone you love.”

Jungwoo grinned. “That’s what I think, too!”

“Just like me,” Jaehyun’s mom said, turning to him. “I love anyone that Jaehyun loves.”

Jaehyun’s breath caught in his throat at the way his mother was looking at him.

He had clearly underestimated her.

Especially when she pulled him off to the side after their meal and presented him with a check.

Jaehyun looked down at it and his eyes went wide.

“Um…” he said. “Mom? I can’t take this.”

“Yes, you can,” his mom said, quietly.

“Dad will know,” Jaehyun said, looking in his mom’s eyes. “He won’t allow it.”

His mom shook her head. “Your father doesn’t know about this,” she whispered. He watched his mom take a deep breath. She spoke in a low voice. “I’ve been saving this money for years. Stashing away here and there… since you were a baby, Jaehyun. Just in case…” She took another breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve made my choice, Jaehyun. I’m right where I deserve. I’ve made my choice to stay. You still have a choice. It’s time for you to go. I offered this money to my sister—”

His mom’s voice broke slightly. Jaehyun blinked rapidly to keep away his own tears.

“But she refused. And I understand… it wasn’t enough. It’s still not enough. You deserve everything, Jaehyun. I won’t let you refuse this. You and Jungwoo will be able to stay in school and take care of yourselves for now… and in a couple of years, you’ll both be graduated. This will last until you are able to take care of yourselves. I know you can make it, my son. You’re smart. You deserve your happiness with Johnny. Happiness in the life you get to choose. I can’t make things right, Jaehyun-ah. I know there are many things I did wrong with you, with Jungwoo, with my sister. But this is a start. For you and for Jungwoo, too. This is the right thing to do for you both.”

Jaehyun bit his lower lip and felt a wave of intense emotion run through his body. His mother pulled him into a tight hug. They hugged for a long time.

Being in his mother’s arms also felt like home.

🍑

They stayed in Seoul for 8 days, exploring everywhere. They hit up Jaehyun and Jungwoo’s favorite places. They went to these super cheesy tourist places that Jaehyun had always been too embarrassed to go to but secretly wanted to go, like the racoon café. They hung love locks at Namsan tower. Johnny took so many pictures. Johnny and Jaehyun would spend each night going over the hundreds of pictures Johnny took that day before they rolled around in the bed and made love.

After Seoul, they went to Jeju island for a long weekend. Then they went to Busan so they could play in the ocean. The days flew by faster than Jaehyun could ever expect. Before he knew it, they were back in Seoul, back in the airport and then back on the plane, headed back to America.

Headed home.

“I wasn’t nervous about take-off this time,” Johnny said, grinning at Jaehyun when they were in the air. “All I need to think about is… what happened last time.”

Jaehyun snickered and kissed Johnny’s cheek.

“What was your favorite part of the trip?” Jaehyun asked. He gazed out the window. The sky around them was perfectly blue. He felt Johnny staring at him. Finally, he smiled and returned Johnny’s gaze.

“Meeting your mom,” Johnny said. “Hands down.”

“Even better than what we did at Love Land in Jeju?” Jaehyun asked, raising his eyebrows. Johnny laughed.

“Close second,” Johnny said. “But… still your mom. I loved hearing her talk about you.”

“I loved it, too,” Jaehyun said.

“I’m honored I got to meet her,” Johnny said. “I feel closer to you now after this trip. I didn’t realize it was possible for me to love you more, but I do. I love you more and more the more I get to know you, Jung Jaehyun.”

Johnny was grinning but Jaehyun swallowed hard, suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of emotion. He pressed his face against Johnny’s bicep. Johnny wrapped his arms around him, immediately.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to go—” Jaehyun choked out before he knew what he was saying. Johnny sighed and hugged him tightly.

“I don’t wanna go, either,” Johnny said. “I don’t wanna leave you, baby. It’s going to be hard but we’re going to make it work, right? I’ll see you ask much as I can. I’ll only be four hours away.”

Jaehyun sniffed and nodded. This was going to be so hard. He’d been with Johnny every moment for the past two weeks. Now, in just one week, Johnny was moving to his new place in Chicago for good.

Jaehyun pulled away and wiped his eyes. Johnny kissed over each one of his eyelids.

“I love you, baby,” Johnny said. “I’m in this for the long haul.”

“Remember when you said you felt like we were doomed?” Jaehyun asked, looking up at Johnny again.

Johnny nodded. “Yeah… but… after I met your mother, I know we’re not, baby. You never really told me what happened when you went to see your father.”

Jaehyun rubbed his nose. “Just about what you’d expect. I told him I’m not going along with his plan anymore and he told me that he was going to cut me and Jungwoo off.”

Johnny nodded. “I figured that’s why you didn’t want to talk about it. We’ll make it work, baby. I can help. I have a cheap apartment. We’ll get something better when you move to Chicago. So, I’ll have some extra money in the meantime.”

Jaehyun shook his head. “I can’t take your money, Johnny.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “My mom—that night at the restaurant-- she gave me some money that my dad doesn’t know about. She’s been stashing it away for years. It’s enough for us… for now. Until we finish school. We’ll need to downsize but we’ll be okay.”

“Good,” Johnny said. “I’ll still help. If you or Jungwoo need anything, I’m right here. Whatever you need. For as long as you need.”

Jaehyun smiled at his incredible boyfriend. He turned Johnny’s face towards him and gave him a sweet kiss.

“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered against Johnny’s lips.

“I love you, too,” Johnny murmured. “I’ll always be there for you. No matter where I am, baby. I will drop everything for you.”

Jaehyun smiled, curling up against Johnny’s chest as Johnny held him. He could hear Jungwoo and Mark laughing about something one row away, being way too loud for the quiet airplane.

He could feel Johnny’s heartbeat.

Seoul became smaller and smaller in the background. As excited as he was to go back to Korea, he also felt excited to leave.

It was his home country. But now, it wasn’t home.

“You’re my home, Johnny,” Jaehyun said, softly.

“You’re my home, too,” Johnny said. “One year apart, baby. We can make it. We just need to stay close. We need to remember that we are home to each other. Everything is going to be okay.”

Jaehyun nodded. He closed his eyes, breathing Johnny in.

His father thought he had caused Jaehyun to lose everything.

But Jaehyun would be okay. As long as he was in Johnny’s arms. As long as Johnny and Jungwoo were in his life.

Jaehyun had everything he needed here.

Jaehyun was right at home.

**Author's Note:**

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